Sunday, November 05, 2006

"Random Compliments"

We have all heard of random acts of kindness but you may not have heard of random compliments. I tend to practice both and been really surprised about how cool the random compliments work.
When I find myself noticing another woman's outfit, or how pretty her hair looks,...etc. I've gotten in the habit of going up to them and say, "Excuse me, would you mind if I made a personal comment (or something to that effect..depending on who I'm talking to), the reason I was staring at you was because you have such a beautiful color of hair....(or whatever fits the conversation)" I have yet to have a girl or woman get angry with me and tell me to mind my own business. They always brighten and smile and say thank you and then I go back to what I'm doing or sometimes it actually leads to more conversation. It doesn't have to be that formal, alot of times just a quick, "I really like your outfit, your baby is so cute, etc." One thing I want to stress however, it has to be a geniune compliment that you actually mean otherwise it makes the whole exercise worthless. know what they say about karma. I'll be darned if I wasn't setting in a resterant last night and this woman came up to me, out of the blue, apologizing for bothering me...of course, I told her, she wasn't a bother at all (I was quite curious as to why she had sought me out)...and you could have knocked me over with a feather when she said, "I just wanted you know that the reason I was staring at you was you have the most amazing smile..(.blah, blah, blah,). I was absolutly shocked and immensely complimented. That women made my whole night because I had been very worried about having made scene earlier in the same resteraunt because JD had to bring in my scooter. I thought that I was okay to walk into the resteraunt and buffet, but as soon as we got in, I was in so much pain I just couldn't move and needed the scooter. They had to move us to a different table. I had tears in my eyes. It was just horrible and then this worman just walked over and made all of what had went before disappear and I felt really special. I hope that woman knew just what a wonderful kindness she did last night and it has strengthened my resolve to continue to not keep compliments to myself but share them with the person that I think them about.

Before I quit I want to comment on the basic kindness of people when that is what you project. Last night at that resteraunt it was really amazing the positive atmosphere that dominated that night. I had to go to the ladies room and there was this little boy that was about 4 years old that not only held the door open for me to go in but came back and held the door open for me to come out. He was such a wonderful child. Our waitress, Lydia, was an absolutly beautiful girl. She was bright and intelligent and when I explained why the tip wasn't as much as I would have liked it to been she was absolutly wonderful. We probably ended up talking for a good 5 minutes about how she felt the same way we did and then it veered off into what she was studying in college and what her dreams were....she gives me so much hope for the next generation. There was also a dad there with his thirteen month old little girl who was such a good little walker. She was quite taken with my "go cart". I could go on and on but some nights you can just feel the positive energy around you and gives you so much hope for the future. There is so much worry about negative things on our planet now (and God knows we have a good reason to worry) but it's nights like this that give me so much hope because even with so much "darkness" in the world, it is heartening to know there is also alot of light that we just take for granted.