Trying to Survive the Holidays

Trying to Survive the Holidays

Many of us who have sprang from dysfunction families have to make some hard decision come these family holidays. Do we go to the stress filled holiday family traditional dinners and visits or do we take the reigns back on our life and decide to do something nice for us and our own immediately family and those who really have our respect and love? Doesn’t sound like such a tough decision when you put it like that, does it? But in the real world it isn’t quite that easy to tell mom or sister no when that invitation is given. When I was a newlywed I can remember trying to have lunch at his families and supper at mine. We were sick by the time they finally released us to go home. After the birth of my son we finally couldn’t take it anymore and announced the introduction of “our” traditional dinners and if the family would like to come over then….they were invited. If not……..we were delighted (we didn’t actually mention the latter but it was true). It wasn’t long before my immediate family of my husband, kids, and I had made some wonderful traditions for us and instead of Thanksgiving and Christmas giving me stress ulcers I was just blissfully aware I’d eaten too much. We took a laid back, quiet, and relaxed attitude towards the holidays. Instead of trying to wake up at 5am to get the turkey in to feed a grumpy group of people by noon. We would sleep in till 10am having had everything ready the night before. Stuff the turkey and get the potatoes and yams cooking then plan to eat around 2 or 3pm and in the meantime eat all the appetizers and snacks we had already prepared days before. We’d have a wonderful time making the snacks, appetizers, and desserts as we got to together to make them. No one was grumpy or too sleepy at dinner or before hand. After we finished eating it was almost suppertime so we would save our desserts for supper. After a nap, putting away the rest of dinner (of course snacking as we did on the left-overs we were more than ready for desserts. Over the last 20 years or so the holidays have gone from ulcer makers and more or less as relaxed as peace talks between all the relatives to something that our whole family enjoys and wants to keep. I don’t know what it will be like when my kids have families of their own. I do know I won’t make them play what set of parents do we love more. Personally, it doesn’t matter to me if I don’t eat the turkey feast directly on Thanksgiving or Christmas…I’m a patient person.