Friday, June 17, 2005
Growing Old.......What an amazing process it is. You're body becomes weaker and slows down but yet your mind.....it finally begins to really understand how amazing and short, life really is. You learn not to take a beautiful day for granted...who knows how many more you may have? You see your babies growing up before your eyes into capable young men which swells your heart with pride and love that knows no boundaries. Some people would have said how unfortunate I was to have lost ten years of my life to an illness that kept me bound to my house, bed, and wheelchair in my 30's....my prime. I wouldn't have chosen it to be that way but I have accepted that loss. I have also realized the opportunities it afforded me. Since I was unable to go out into the world with my children...they brought their world to me. I will never forget the countless days of my sons, and ever-changing number of their friends, and friends of friends, who would position themselves around the foot of my recliner and let me take part in places few adults are allowed to go. Discussions about school, about the opposite sex, about life, each year were becoming more sophisticated and more deeply discussed. It completely changed my attitude about the abilities, the pressures, and the needs of the next generation. At the age of 42 I decided it was time to take my life back (I had recovered quite a bit by then but was still very weakened by the condition)...I did come back into the world and with a vengeance. I had already learned how to paint with oils and had become pretty good and had started to turn my hand to writing. Now, at 46 when some my age are beginning to worry about the security of retirement, feeling past their prime, and wondering if they accomplished the goals they had started out with...I feel like I'm discovering a whole new world. I'm now a professional artist with sales and some credits to my name, an enthusiastic writer that feels as if the whole world is just opening up to her. I have a few finished children's manuscripts and some in the final revision phase and two chapters of my first novel. I'm excited to open my eyes everyday. I’m planning for when I'll start to travel the world. I still have aches and pains and I still have to plan around days when I'm ill; but all in all I feel like I'm the luckiest woman alive. In fact, just between you and me, I'm sure I am.