Monday, January 24, 2005


I’ve been asked why it is so important that I tell my story. I’ve also more less been begged and/or ordered to keep my big mouth shut. I’ll tell you why I have refused to keep my mouth shut. The reason I deal with being a multiple today. The reason I have to deal with severe chronic pain every day of my life is because someone else chose to take control over my life without my consent. They thought they had the right to hit me and humiliate me with no thought of any consequences as far as they were concerned. My abuser may be dead today and he may have never been directly punished for what he did (at least in this life). The problem comes in that there are abusers out there everywhere and as long as adult survivors refuse to stand up and tell people what the consequences are for treating your children worse then your pets when is it going to stop? Furthermore, I wasn’t responsible for what happened to me when I was too young to stop it. I have found that staying silent just seemed to compound my guilt and my shame. The more I have opened up, sought therapy, talked to other survivors, the stronger I have become. I’m willing to help to what ever degree that I can to help people understand what being a multiple is like. We have the same needs for love and comfort as everyone else. We need jobs to provide for our families. We aren’t all scary and spooky. You won’t be talking to a reasonable adult one minute and the next second chasing down a crying hysterical child for no apparent reason in a busy office. I’m not saying that it hasn’t ever happened but that would be a very rare situation. Multiples are extremely good at fitting in. We’ve had to do it all our lives. We certainly don’t go around scaring small animals and children. I hoped by writing the book CINDY WHEN HELL FROZE OVER would give you a look into the life of someone who went to therapy, help down a responsible job, did it well and raised and infant son. I’m not special although I admit to have been lucky to have found a therapist who believed in multiple personalities back in the early 80’s when it was a very unpopular diagnosis. It is important for survivors to break the silence if for no other reason then to break the chain of violence that can go on from generation to generation and to make a society that is open to seeking help for domestic violence. Now that parents have gotten so busy that schools have been called upon to teach sex education isn’t even more important that they also teach boundaries? Teach our children that they have a right to their own personal boundaries that no one, even family members, has a right to abuse. Teaching personal boundaries at a young age with appropriate language and skills would help children feel empowered over their bodies and hopefully decrease molestation from an even earlier age. Since I’ve gotten on my soap box instead of just answering the question I will wind up by saying this….If I don’t say anything…Who will???????